That's the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person, and over time they begin to seem ordinary.
There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange, mixed affair we call life. when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke. Though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns. And more than suspects that the joke is nobody's expense but his own.
1
杰过生日。
我们得谈谈客厅里的那只大象了（明显存在的，但大家都刻意忽视的问题）。
爹地，我好无聊，让汽车跳舞吧。
用小宠物来治愈心里的伤口。
65岁老年得子，很幸福。
2
套到用时方恨少。
拉拉很多是素食主义者，还喜欢做木工？
我5岁的时候，我的保姆是只山羊。
《菲尔之道》：只要你降低期望，你就能遇到人生中美好的事。
结婚要找看起来性感与失望并存的人。
年老的黑人女性做的冰茶最好喝。
一天至少看一次日出。
如果你爱着什么，给它自由。
3
给猫咪做人鱼装，额。
#12
Phil: Nice game of chicken, Claire. She's gone!
Claire: She is coming back. I am almost positive.
Phil: Why do I listen to you? Why? You were wrong about the iPod being a failure. You were wrong about tomato being a vegetable. I don't even want to talk about your favorite "Planet" Pluto!
Haley:You were going to let me go with him?
Claire: Isn't that what you wanted, honey?
Haley: What's the matter with you?! You've been acting so weird ever since I left college!
Claire: For the record, you didn't leave college. You were asked to leave.
Haley: Oh, which you guys never let me forget, especially dad.
Claire: Honey, your father...
Haley: Oh, you don't have to tell me what he thinks, okay? I'm a huge disappointment to him. I see it on his face every day. He acts as if he doesn't even want me around.
Phil: Give me the ticket for the car.
《摩登家庭 第四季》只是熬夜的时候突然想到= =
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